Dorit Miles, MA, LP
Behavioral Health Services (BHSI), Golden Valley, MNhttp://www.bhsiclinics.com/
These are difficult times. Many people are experiencing extreme losses and hardships. Over the years, life has presented many challenges to my clients and to me. I have learned that change is constant. Sometimes when bad things happen, good things follow unexpectedly. Effort is crucial to help the good to materialize.
Five months ago I was (along with 60 colleagues) laid off from a large mental health clinic. It was a shock since I planned to work there until retirement. Today I work for BHSI, which I found to be a much better fit for me. An opportunity presented itself; I acted on it quickly and ended up with more satisfying daily work and environment.
One year ago this month I lost my mother. Although she was 87 years old, ill and her passing was expected, it was still a very sad reality. Two weeks after her death, my husband showed up unexpectedly with a rescued puppy. We already had a four year-old Golden Retriever, and although earlier we discussed the possibility of two dogs, we both rejected the idea because of the added responsibility. Of course once we saw Lucca we fell in love with her and decided to keep her despite the extra work any puppy requires. To me, she was extra special and a gift from the universe to help with my grief. Lucca has become a member of our family and I often smile at the thought of Mom and her.
Eight years ago my best friend and partner in private practice died suddenly of a heart attack. My loss was immense. It took a lot of effort to recover. Since then I have made special friends and am working in a satisfying environment.
Ten years ago, when menopause hit, I found myself desperate and willing to do what it took to feel better. Two years earlier I had heard a presentation on Qigong; so I decided to practice daily for half an hour. It was a tremendous commitment on my part since I don’t like to get up early and have always gone to the pool or yoga class for exercise. I never before committed myself to disciplined daily practice on my own. My life changed. I felt healthier again.
These four examples have taught me a lot about loss and resilience. Working with clients for years, I have seen many people deal with horrific events. We all have inner reserves that we are unaware of until life presents us with challenges.
I have learned that we need to do our part to make the desired changes and recovery will happen. We also need to listen to our hearts and do what fits for us. Sometimes we need to make our own recovery the first priority in our life and ask others for help.
Dorit Miles, MA, LP is a psychologist at Behavioral Health Services in Golden Valley, Minnesota. She works with adults on a wide range of mental health issues. Her special interests include life transitions, mid-life issues, post-partum depression, parenting issues and overall wellness.
